I was walking through a barren field. Suddenly I heard pounding. Like a footstep, magnified through a million loudspeakers. Suddenly there was a huge shadow. A gigantic foot was coming to stomp me and I was frozen in fear. Then I saw something weird. The thumb of the foot had eyes and lips. It crushed my body. I felt just little pain. But the thumb's lips kissed mine.
My eyes shot open just to see Gautam's lips receding from mine just after a kiss. He was on top of me. His wiener was right above mine.
"WHAT THE F**K? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET THE HELL OFF ME!!"
Gautam got off me. Why did he kiss me? There was a mix of guilt and happiness in his eyes.
"Sorry..." he mumbled.
"What sorry? That was simply GROSS!! Are you CRAZY? I AM A GUY!"
"Thats why I kissed you. I am not interested in girls."
"I've never heard of such a gross thing before. Guys being interested in other guys".
"No. It is pretty much normal in America. It is called gay culture. I was attracted to it at my school."
"Get the f**k out of my room. Dont sleep next to me ever again."
Head hung low, he got off the bed and to the table. "Dont tell my Mom, OK?" And he slept with his head on the desk.
I looked at the clock. It was 4.30 in the morning. Mom should be here in a hour and a half. I had lost my sleep. So I took my phone out. I went to Wikipedia and searched for 'Gay'. The article was too long to read. But I got the crux. Guys interested in other guys and girls interested in other girls. How weird.
Mom came to my room at about 6.00. By that time Gautam had already went into the bathroom after getting a cold hard glare from me.
"Already up? You dont get up unless I call you. Whats wrong?" Mom asked.
"Nothing Mom. Had a bad dream."
"So Gautam already went to take a bath. What a good kid. Anita must have brought him up well. America is full of bad habits. It takes a lot of resolve to not give into them"
I stared at Mom, eyes wide open. Seriously? But she didnt notice.
"You have two good news today. Your Grandma is coming today evening."
Wow. I loved my Grandma. Apparently she had been the most beautiful girl in her village which gained her a good and rich socialite husband. She had always wanted a granddaughter but she loved me Anirudh nonetheless. She was somewhat educated and wasnt too superstitious.
"And the next good news is... I signed you up for the Bharathanatyam performance on the eighth day of Navratri. At the Sabha"
What? This was totally unexpected! I have been learning Bharathanatyam for the past five years and was one of the reasons I could switch to Girl Mode easily. But I still retained my manliness. But I didnt even practice for anything this soon. Dad hates the sabha as he considers it a waste of time.
I took a bath. Mom gave me a glittery silk Churdidhar. The same tone of green as the Slytherin House color in Harry Potter. And then she gave me a gold jewellery set embedded with green stones. And she did the usual makeup. She pinned the dupatta over my shoulder.
All this time my head was buzzing. If I need to know why Anirudh doesn't want Mom doing his makeup I need to threaten him. But how? Then I smiled. An idea clicked in place.
"You look so cute. Your grandma will love your look. Now go and practice for the dance." Mom said.
"But... but what will I practice? I don't even know what the theme is."
"Why don't you call up Sanjana. She was the one who told me to sign you up. Infact, she is going to dance with you too."
Gods. What did she sign me up for?
"OK, you two sort it out. I need to go and get the dance dress stitched for you. Oh... I need to buy jewellery too." and she pushed me out of the room.
I went to Anirudh's room. I peeked through the keyhole. He was trying to wear his pavada. How lucky. He was wearing his headphones.
I sneaked in silently. I knew how to threaten him. And my hands went straight for his showcase filled with his prizes and I grabbed his most prized possession: the vois Dèúx Core.
Two years ago AMD had chosen three students from all over the world to showcase their programming skills. Anirudh was the one selected from India. The two other ones were a American postgraduate and a Computer Science geek from France. My brother had won the competition. AMD's CEO Dirk Meyer was super impressed with his talent and awarded him with the prototype core that AMD was making, the vois Dèúx Core. And my brother became the star of our school.
And I stood at his door.
"Brother".
"What the...?" He was so startled he dropped the pavada. "What the hell do you want?"
"Why aren't you allowing Mom to do your makeup?"
"That's none of your business. Now get out of my room."
"Oh. But somebody thinks it IS my business" And I opened the palm of my hand. His face paled.
"Give me my core back." He ordered.
"Not until you tell me a good reason"
"Give it BACK" he shouted.
I just stood there with a steely look on my face. Nobody makes my Mom cry and gets away with it.
"Tell me why you won't allow Mom do your makeup."
Then suddenly he broke down in tears. He kneeled down, face in palms. "That is because I ejaculate when I see myself in the mirror."
"Ejac-what?"
He pulled his dhavani a little to the side. "You see my penis sticking up?"
I didn't know what "penis" meant but I think he was referring to his wiener. So the scientific name of wiener is "penis"....
"Yeah... it happens to me too... why?"
"Its because of hormones in the body. When you are 15 or older, stuff will come out of your penis when you see something extremely sexy. That's what happened to me last year . But I somehow managed to hide it. That's why all of last year I learnt makeup by watching YouTube videos." he said, wiping his tears.
I didn't know what he was talking about but I think he was being pretty truthful.
"I don't care if you ejac or whatever. You didn't have to argue with her for that . And from tomorrow onwards, ask Mom to do your makeup. If you don't... just forget the Core. I will be having it until the holidays end"
"OK. I will tell her to do it." he sighed. "Keep my Core safe".
He knew better than to mess with me as the Core was extremely delicate.
I went to my room and wondered where to hide it. Then I had an idea. I took the battery out of my old phone and put the core in the battery slot. And I hid the phone carefully in between my boy clothes.
And next I needed to call Sanjana up. Messy business, this Sabha program.
"Hello? Oh Karthik its you. I signed you up fo... "
I cut her short. "Why did you do it Sanjana? There is barely 4 days left and we don't even have dance class as our teacher is out of town. Are you crazy?"
"Well ,its a duo dance and I couldn't think of anybody other than you... sorry"
"OK ... whatever. Come to my house now. I don't even know what the theme is."
"OK." came the cheerful reply. "15 minutes."
I sighed. What is this day turning out to be?
I spotted Gautam on the couch watching the morning shows. He had changed into a satin dress and was wearing better makeup than yesterday. Even his eyebrows were thinner. And when I sat on the couch his wiener stood up like the Eiffel tower. I moved away from him. Such a gross idiot.
"You think being gay is weird don't you?" he asked me. "Well even cross dressing is a part of gay culture."
I didn't reply. I wasn't on talking terms with him.
He was watching Mrs.Doubtfire on Star Movies. Haha.
Sometime later Mom called me from her room. "Karthik, can you come here for a moment please?"
I went into her room. She had her Macbook open. On it was a Bharathanatyam dress catalog. There were hundreds of colors. And there was a separate section for Bharathanatyam jewels.
"Choose what you like."
"Oh. I dont know Mom. There must be a theme and I dont know what it is."
"I do" answered a voice.
In came Sanjana. Wow. She was amazing as usual. Prim and pretty in a pink Churdidhar.
"What is the theme?" I asked.
"Radha and Krishna".
"Awww, come on". I facepalmed. "That theme has been done a million times. Almost every dancer does that."
"I have an idea. Karthik can be Radha and you can be Krishna, Sanjana." Mom suggested.
"Whaaaat? Are you crazy Mom? How can I be at the female end of a love story? I am not that perfect as a dancer."
"I like the idea." Sanjana said cheerfully.
'Yeah. You would like anything stupid.' But I didnt say that out loud.
"Choose this Aunty." Sanjana pointed to a dress in the catalog. "It should be perfect."
"Amazing Sanjana. I also chose the same thing." Mom joined in.
Tch. The day had been perplexing so far. So many things happening.
"Lets go to the terrace. See a few dance videos. Get an idea formed up. We can do this in 3 days." Sanjana said. But it sounded like she was trying to reassure herself.
And we began practicing. It was crappy at first. But soon everything formed up together, and we got the steps in mind.
Grandma came at 5:00 in the evening. I welcomed her. She was impressed of my avatar. But the icing on the cake for her was Sanjana who fell at Granny's feet when she saw her. She can play real sweet. And I got a look from Granny like 'learn some manners from her.'. Hmph.
Mom came back home only at 8:00 at night. She was pretty tired. She had a bag that said "Sun Gold Covering Store".
"Where were you Mom? Dont tell me you were at that covering shop all day." I said.
"You are an idiot Karthik. Have you forgotten what day is it tomorrow?"
"Uh... what?"
"Why do you think your Aunt and Granny have come?"
"Dunno. Maybe they wanted to see us"
"Tomorrow is the fifth day. Remember atleast now?"
Then it dawned on me. Tomorrow is the fifth day of Navratri. The biggest celebration of the neighborhood. We arrange all these pujas and invite all our neighbours. There would be Carnatic singing, Bharathanatyam. Gods how did I forget. Mom must have been around inviting everybody.
"Oh right. Oops. Sorry."
"I was around inviting everyone. Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day. Go to sleep. And Sanjana darling, I already told your Mom to come tomorrow at six. You also come ok."
"Yes Aunty. I will. Especially to see what Karthik is wearing tomorrow." and she smiled.
I blushed.
"Dont blush too much darling" Sanjana teased and pinched me in the hips. "Be in your best tomorrow okay?".
I nodded.
After she left I ate dinner and watched a few soap operas. Even after a female makeover I am not able to watch these things. So stupid. Always showing hospitals and crying daughter-in-laws.
I went to sleep later. That asshole Gautam was nowhere to be seen. Good riddance. And I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
My eyes shot open just to see Gautam's lips receding from mine just after a kiss. He was on top of me. His wiener was right above mine.
"WHAT THE F**K? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET THE HELL OFF ME!!"
Gautam got off me. Why did he kiss me? There was a mix of guilt and happiness in his eyes.
"Sorry..." he mumbled.
"What sorry? That was simply GROSS!! Are you CRAZY? I AM A GUY!"
"Thats why I kissed you. I am not interested in girls."
"I've never heard of such a gross thing before. Guys being interested in other guys".
"No. It is pretty much normal in America. It is called gay culture. I was attracted to it at my school."
"Get the f**k out of my room. Dont sleep next to me ever again."
Head hung low, he got off the bed and to the table. "Dont tell my Mom, OK?" And he slept with his head on the desk.
I looked at the clock. It was 4.30 in the morning. Mom should be here in a hour and a half. I had lost my sleep. So I took my phone out. I went to Wikipedia and searched for 'Gay'. The article was too long to read. But I got the crux. Guys interested in other guys and girls interested in other girls. How weird.
Mom came to my room at about 6.00. By that time Gautam had already went into the bathroom after getting a cold hard glare from me.
"Already up? You dont get up unless I call you. Whats wrong?" Mom asked.
"Nothing Mom. Had a bad dream."
"So Gautam already went to take a bath. What a good kid. Anita must have brought him up well. America is full of bad habits. It takes a lot of resolve to not give into them"
I stared at Mom, eyes wide open. Seriously? But she didnt notice.
"You have two good news today. Your Grandma is coming today evening."
Wow. I loved my Grandma. Apparently she had been the most beautiful girl in her village which gained her a good and rich socialite husband. She had always wanted a granddaughter but she loved me Anirudh nonetheless. She was somewhat educated and wasnt too superstitious.
"And the next good news is... I signed you up for the Bharathanatyam performance on the eighth day of Navratri. At the Sabha"
What? This was totally unexpected! I have been learning Bharathanatyam for the past five years and was one of the reasons I could switch to Girl Mode easily. But I still retained my manliness. But I didnt even practice for anything this soon. Dad hates the sabha as he considers it a waste of time.
I took a bath. Mom gave me a glittery silk Churdidhar. The same tone of green as the Slytherin House color in Harry Potter. And then she gave me a gold jewellery set embedded with green stones. And she did the usual makeup. She pinned the dupatta over my shoulder.
All this time my head was buzzing. If I need to know why Anirudh doesn't want Mom doing his makeup I need to threaten him. But how? Then I smiled. An idea clicked in place.
"You look so cute. Your grandma will love your look. Now go and practice for the dance." Mom said.
"But... but what will I practice? I don't even know what the theme is."
"Why don't you call up Sanjana. She was the one who told me to sign you up. Infact, she is going to dance with you too."
Gods. What did she sign me up for?
"OK, you two sort it out. I need to go and get the dance dress stitched for you. Oh... I need to buy jewellery too." and she pushed me out of the room.
I went to Anirudh's room. I peeked through the keyhole. He was trying to wear his pavada. How lucky. He was wearing his headphones.
I sneaked in silently. I knew how to threaten him. And my hands went straight for his showcase filled with his prizes and I grabbed his most prized possession: the vois Dèúx Core.
Two years ago AMD had chosen three students from all over the world to showcase their programming skills. Anirudh was the one selected from India. The two other ones were a American postgraduate and a Computer Science geek from France. My brother had won the competition. AMD's CEO Dirk Meyer was super impressed with his talent and awarded him with the prototype core that AMD was making, the vois Dèúx Core. And my brother became the star of our school.
And I stood at his door.
"Brother".
"What the...?" He was so startled he dropped the pavada. "What the hell do you want?"
"Why aren't you allowing Mom to do your makeup?"
"That's none of your business. Now get out of my room."
"Oh. But somebody thinks it IS my business" And I opened the palm of my hand. His face paled.
"Give me my core back." He ordered.
"Not until you tell me a good reason"
"Give it BACK" he shouted.
I just stood there with a steely look on my face. Nobody makes my Mom cry and gets away with it.
"Tell me why you won't allow Mom do your makeup."
Then suddenly he broke down in tears. He kneeled down, face in palms. "That is because I ejaculate when I see myself in the mirror."
"Ejac-what?"
He pulled his dhavani a little to the side. "You see my penis sticking up?"
I didn't know what "penis" meant but I think he was referring to his wiener. So the scientific name of wiener is "penis"....
"Yeah... it happens to me too... why?"
"Its because of hormones in the body. When you are 15 or older, stuff will come out of your penis when you see something extremely sexy. That's what happened to me last year . But I somehow managed to hide it. That's why all of last year I learnt makeup by watching YouTube videos." he said, wiping his tears.
I didn't know what he was talking about but I think he was being pretty truthful.
"I don't care if you ejac or whatever. You didn't have to argue with her for that . And from tomorrow onwards, ask Mom to do your makeup. If you don't... just forget the Core. I will be having it until the holidays end"
"OK. I will tell her to do it." he sighed. "Keep my Core safe".
He knew better than to mess with me as the Core was extremely delicate.
I went to my room and wondered where to hide it. Then I had an idea. I took the battery out of my old phone and put the core in the battery slot. And I hid the phone carefully in between my boy clothes.
And next I needed to call Sanjana up. Messy business, this Sabha program.
"Hello? Oh Karthik its you. I signed you up fo... "
I cut her short. "Why did you do it Sanjana? There is barely 4 days left and we don't even have dance class as our teacher is out of town. Are you crazy?"
"Well ,its a duo dance and I couldn't think of anybody other than you... sorry"
"OK ... whatever. Come to my house now. I don't even know what the theme is."
"OK." came the cheerful reply. "15 minutes."
I sighed. What is this day turning out to be?
I spotted Gautam on the couch watching the morning shows. He had changed into a satin dress and was wearing better makeup than yesterday. Even his eyebrows were thinner. And when I sat on the couch his wiener stood up like the Eiffel tower. I moved away from him. Such a gross idiot.
"You think being gay is weird don't you?" he asked me. "Well even cross dressing is a part of gay culture."
I didn't reply. I wasn't on talking terms with him.
He was watching Mrs.Doubtfire on Star Movies. Haha.
Sometime later Mom called me from her room. "Karthik, can you come here for a moment please?"
I went into her room. She had her Macbook open. On it was a Bharathanatyam dress catalog. There were hundreds of colors. And there was a separate section for Bharathanatyam jewels.
"Choose what you like."
"Oh. I dont know Mom. There must be a theme and I dont know what it is."
"I do" answered a voice.
In came Sanjana. Wow. She was amazing as usual. Prim and pretty in a pink Churdidhar.
"What is the theme?" I asked.
"Radha and Krishna".
"Awww, come on". I facepalmed. "That theme has been done a million times. Almost every dancer does that."
"I have an idea. Karthik can be Radha and you can be Krishna, Sanjana." Mom suggested.
"Whaaaat? Are you crazy Mom? How can I be at the female end of a love story? I am not that perfect as a dancer."
"I like the idea." Sanjana said cheerfully.
'Yeah. You would like anything stupid.' But I didnt say that out loud.
"Choose this Aunty." Sanjana pointed to a dress in the catalog. "It should be perfect."
"Amazing Sanjana. I also chose the same thing." Mom joined in.
Tch. The day had been perplexing so far. So many things happening.
"Lets go to the terrace. See a few dance videos. Get an idea formed up. We can do this in 3 days." Sanjana said. But it sounded like she was trying to reassure herself.
And we began practicing. It was crappy at first. But soon everything formed up together, and we got the steps in mind.
Grandma came at 5:00 in the evening. I welcomed her. She was impressed of my avatar. But the icing on the cake for her was Sanjana who fell at Granny's feet when she saw her. She can play real sweet. And I got a look from Granny like 'learn some manners from her.'. Hmph.
Mom came back home only at 8:00 at night. She was pretty tired. She had a bag that said "Sun Gold Covering Store".
"Where were you Mom? Dont tell me you were at that covering shop all day." I said.
"You are an idiot Karthik. Have you forgotten what day is it tomorrow?"
"Uh... what?"
"Why do you think your Aunt and Granny have come?"
"Dunno. Maybe they wanted to see us"
"Tomorrow is the fifth day. Remember atleast now?"
Then it dawned on me. Tomorrow is the fifth day of Navratri. The biggest celebration of the neighborhood. We arrange all these pujas and invite all our neighbours. There would be Carnatic singing, Bharathanatyam. Gods how did I forget. Mom must have been around inviting everybody.
"Oh right. Oops. Sorry."
"I was around inviting everyone. Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day. Go to sleep. And Sanjana darling, I already told your Mom to come tomorrow at six. You also come ok."
"Yes Aunty. I will. Especially to see what Karthik is wearing tomorrow." and she smiled.
I blushed.
"Dont blush too much darling" Sanjana teased and pinched me in the hips. "Be in your best tomorrow okay?".
I nodded.
After she left I ate dinner and watched a few soap operas. Even after a female makeover I am not able to watch these things. So stupid. Always showing hospitals and crying daughter-in-laws.
I went to sleep later. That asshole Gautam was nowhere to be seen. Good riddance. And I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
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